After the decision to strike down DOMA, gay people celebrated all over the country. It was good news to them. But at the same time, it left Bible believing Christians wondering how to respond. Many are angry and will express their displeasure with Facebook posts that try to raise a million "Like's" in support of traditional marriage. None of which will do any good whatsoever to reverse the decision or change public opinion. All that will do it deepen the resolve of those who support the decision and alienate Christian voices from the free market of idea exchange in the public square.
Furthermore, it doesn't help the situation when Christians angrily protest that being gay is not something that you're born with, it's a choice! All the gay people I know can honestly say that they never consciously choose to be attracted to the same sex. They just are, and that's all they know. So, when the Christian mantra is "you chose to be gay, it's not natural", we don't do ourselves any favors either. From the gay person's point of view, now you're just guilty of slandering and mischaracterizing them. Now, you have really put your own fingers in their ears as you yell at them! They don't hear your words, they only see the distortions of the muscles in your face.
To make matters even worse, the gay person hears the angry Christian protesting their right to marry the one they "love" when half of the Christians they know don't even love the one their married to. They can't keep their own marriages together or they are reluctantly living in a dysfunctional marriage that makes them look like nothing more than bigoted, angry, hypocrites.
Ironically, the average Christian Joe hasn't been taught to think too deeply, only to feel what is right and follow his own heart which puts him on the same level as the gay person who also judges what is morally right and wrong based on their own same-sex feelings of attraction. Of course, Joe Christian will point to the Bible and say: "no, it says homosexuality is a sin...see! right here, chapter and verse!" Just because you can point to a chapter and verse, doesn't mean you are thinking very deeply. It maybe only proves that you can read! Our culture doesn't take the Bible as authoritative anymore and so you might as well be quoting from the phone book (which nobody uses anymore). I'm not saying that the Bible isn't authoritative, because it is! It's God's infallible, inspired, inerrant Word. It's teachings establish the basis for truth for us and it frames our worldview (when interpreted correctly in the right context).
But how do you argue from a book that these people don't think is authoritative? How do you show them that their sexual preference is sinful and unnatural? First of all, the Spirit of God has to convince them of that, second of all, you need to frame the context in the gospel because it's the power of God unto salvation. Quoting verses isn't good enough, you need to give them the good news while you explain to them their own brokenness. Yes, the gospel has the power to save people from homosexuality, even if it doesn't completely eradicate their same sex attraction.
1. We are all sexually broken -
Our brokenness is a result of the fall. Sin has affected all of us and every part of us, especially our sexuality. Man's sinful nature distorts all that God had originally created and declared as good.
What does this mean for our sexuality? It means we want more than or less than God ordained and pronounced as good.
Sex outside of marriage (fornication) - is less than God intended. He wants more for us - commitment, oneness, security, protection, family and all that comes with the institution of marriage. Fornicating as a casual encounter with the opposite sex (or same sex) is less than what God wants for us.
Extramarital Sex (adultery) - is more than God intended. To have sexual relations with others while married is wrong because it betrays the very trust, commitment, oneness, security and love that is supposed to be enjoyed in the covenant of marriage.
Multiple Partner Sex (polygamy/bigamy) - is more than God intended. It overextends a man's ability to love, protect, serve and nurture a woman because he has too many. It also breeds insecurity and jealousy between the wives who were hard-wired by God to be have one man not to be shared with any other.
Fantasy Sex (pornography) - is less than God intended. It is a lie and fantasy that men and women enter into that denigrates other people into nothing more than sexual objects of our greed for sexual fulfillment. It also begins to shape a person's mind to strip person-hood away from others in real life and to see them as nothing more than object of sexual gratification.
Same Sex (homosexuality) - is more than God intended because it goes beyond the design God created for sexual fulfillment.
Underage Sex (pedophilia) - is less than God intended because it robs a child of their natural development and violates their innocence. Children are not fully developed psychologically, emotionally or even physically. They are not even capable of fulfilling the role of marriage where sex was designed to be enjoyed. It is a wicked crime and abuse of the most vulnerable people.
Inter species Sex (bestiality) - Self evidently perverted. Enough said. This discussion will actually be a point of debate some time in the future as the culture actually morally degenerates to this new low.
Now at this point, the homosexual person could protest and say that if he naturally feels this attraction, how is it unnatural? How is it not God's design? Didn't God make him this way?
It's really not much different if I were to tell you that in my heart, I am really a polygamist, and that I really believe that I have the capacity to love more than one woman at the same time...should I act on that? What if my wife was OK with it? No, because it's not God's design. That's my sexual brokenness desiring something that is not God's design. That would be greed! Wanting more than what God has given me. Homosexuality is also sexual brokenness. Adultery is sexual brokenness, having multiple partners is sexual brokenness. There is an interesting piece written by a reporter at the Guardian, a UK newspaper, where he recounts his life as a "serial shagger". This guy's sexual exploits were a self-confessed result of his brokenness as a child. He did not really know what love really was although he "made love" with hundreds of women.
This brings me to my next point.
2. What is love?
This graphic is a gay interpretation of what love is. It's a human right, it's gay marriage, it's not a heterosexual privilege and so on. The question is: Who defines love? This goes back to the fundamental question - who defines truth? It's relative right? You decide what is true for you and you decide what love is for yourself. If that is your ethos of love, then what stops any of the other expressions of sexual brokenness from being wrong? If a woman wants to love her German Shepherd, and the dog obviously gets "happy" and is willing...why is that only a human right? Why should that be illegal. Furthermore, if a little boy has a crush on his 5th grade teacher, why can't the two decide what love is for themselves and enjoy each other sexually? Fill in your protest here: "_______________". OK, my answer to you is: "Says who?"
Another question: If love is a human right, then who granted that right? Rights are derived from someone or something with greater authority than the one with the right. Who or what is greater than humanity that has granted that right?
If you're honest with yourself, either all the talk about rights, love and marriage are totally meaningless or they get their meaning from God.
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loves is born of God, and knows God.
Love is an attribute of God and therefore it finds its significance and rightful expressions as God dictates and demonstrates. God says of love that it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth (I Cor. 13:6). Jesus said that God's Word is the truth (John 17:17). So, to say that you "love" someone of the same sex in a sexual way is not love as God defines it. It is a distortion of love. Is it wrong to love the same sex? No. I love my male friends: I'll name a few - Jon M, Tom P, Bob B, Jeremy S, Dave E, etc... I love all those guys. I'd lay down my life for them and take a bullet for them, but I won't have sex with them! I need male friendship and male love, as God intended!
Likewise, I love many other women besides my wife. But I love her and only her in a way that I do not love anyone else! I love all the women in our church for example. I'd take a bullet for all of them as well, but I won't engage in a sexual relationship with any of them because that would not be an expression of love. It would be an expression of greed. Love "seeks not her own" (I Cor. 13:5).
Love is demonstrated by God in Jesus Christ who laid down His life for our soul to restore us from the distortion of sin that has wreaked havoc in our lives through broken relationships, abusive relationships, and failed marriages.
3. What about my feelings?
There are those who say they are "gay Christians" and one asked me if being gay and Christian is an oxymoron. No it's not an oxymoron to be gay and Christian because being a sinner and being justified is exactly what it means to be a Christian! It's no different than being an adulterer and a Christian. We are simul justus et peccator - "simultaneously righteous and sinful" if we are in Christ.
The difference is which one is your master? Your sexual desires or Christ? If we live a life characterized by following our sexual fallenness, then we are not truly "Christians":
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthinans 6:9-11
What you practice reveals what controls you and who is your Master.
But the gay person might say: "I'm gay, I cant help it, I'm born that way!"
Our response should be: "I know, but you can be born again a different way!"
We were all "born that way" as Lady Gaga sings.
She's part right and yet tragically wrong. She doesn't take into account of the fall and its effects and certainly offers no hope of salvation except to just embrace one's fallen condition as the way God made us - which is a lie.
Our propensity and inclination toward our sinful nature and it's feelings don't go away when we are born again. They now compete with a new nature that desires God's way (Romans 7:17-23).
The same sex attraction may never go away, just like a heterosexual man's struggle with lusting after all the beautiful women out there certainly never goes away. It becomes regulated under the Lordship of Christ who becomes our supreme satisfaction and allegiance. The struggle continues until final salvation when we drop this broken sinful body in the ground and are clothed with the perfection that awaits us with Christ!
That's the real good news for gays. Not that society has recognized their brokenness as equally acceptable with everyone else's brokenness. They're still broken and need a Savior!